Encourage a Child's Rant?
Updated: May 23, 2020
"Or perhaps allow"? If the rant includes EFT, guided and/or done surrogately on the spot by a patient, calm individual, the results can be amazing.
When children see something as unjust, no doubt there will be a reaction. It could be an angry outburst or disappointment, or heaven knows what else.
When they feel safe to express exactly what they are feeling in a way that feels right to them, without fear of consequences, emotions get processed instead of bottled up.
The sooner the “tapping rant” can follow the event, the better. This means that even it they are screaming and crying “No, no, no!”, rather than shutting them down or trying to sooth them, many times the best thing to do is begin to tap through the sequence surrogately, echoing their words. It is like giving them permission to say exactly what they think and feel.
Encourage them to let it out! What usually happens if you are truly engaged, screaming their words right along with them as you tap – continuing to validate their feelings, they’ll begin to share more of what they are feeling and why.
At every opportunity, validate their feeling with phrases like “I have every right to feel this way!” and “How could I feel any other way!”. These are great phrases to throw into the mix, while they are pouting or crying – and at any opportunity that presents itself.
They may refuse to look in your direction, or be sulking on a heap in the floor, unwilling to participate in any way. Keep tapping anyway, incorporating the words that you think would more than likely express the way they are feeling. Seek confirmation as you go: “Do I have that right?” as an example. When you don’t have it “right”, typically they’ll let you know, eventually sharing more of what they are feeling.
If they are fervent in ignoring you, just keep tapping using the words you believe to be most appropriate. Stick with it, trusting your intuition, remaining calm, knowing that surrogate tapping can be incredibly effective even in the face of resistance.
Even if they refuse to be engaged in any way, most of the time you’ll begin to see body language indicating a shift is taking place.
When a child is more engaged and obvious clues of improvement are showing up, it is a good time to transition from the rant into positive reinforcement. This tapping could include phrases about their ability to share and express their thoughts to help others understand their feelings, and why they feel the way they do.
For those not engaged or appearing unresponsive, consider privately doing some surrogate tapping along the same lines as mentioned in the above paragraph.
If the situation permits, it’s always good to end with a hug, even if this too is done in a surrogate manner!
When the time is feels right, (and that may take a few days) it is a good idea to have a chat and revisit everything. This too is a perfect time for hugs.
Through the years, employing this technique with children has proven highly effective. Keep in mind that each situation, as always, is unique unto itself. Therefore trial and error may need to be employed, along with my favorite: patience and persistence.
We’d love to hear your thoughts and are happy to respond to any questions.
Gratitude and peace within,