• Sophia Cayer

Is It Really Important?

Updated: May 23


Maybe whatever “It” is isn’t that important, but always know that you are.

If there is a habit, pattern or limiting belief you can’t seem to overcome, you may have consciously or subconsciously accepted it as a fact of life. It may not seem that important, but if you decide to give it one more try, how could it improve your life or the way you view yourself? 

Let’s take a look at a possibility.  A client we will call Sandra, was living with an undercurrent of anxiety.

She blamed it on her challenge and frustration with completing projects and even simple routine tasks. 

She had tried “everything”, up to and including hiring a coach to help her with focus and productivity. She was convinced there was no choice but to accept things as they were.  However, she reluctantly decided to give letting it go one more try.

We tapped our way through Sandra’s frustrations. While checking in between rounds, my ears perked up when I heard her refer to herself as “lazy”.  When I inquired, she was quick to let me know it had no significance, she didn’t see herself that way. She laughed, admitting she didn’t realize she even said the word.  She felt so strongly about it, we set it aside for the time being and continued.

In our next session “lazy” showed up again.  This time we began to explore what until now, she saw as “insignificant, unrelated, unimportant history”.   The short version of the story is that “lazy” was a word constantly instilled, regardless of the quality or quantity of her efforts.  Her accomplishments were never praised, always criticized.

Sandra was convinced she was “over that”, “It happened a long time ago” and “it didn’t bother me that much.”   Brilliant coping and survival strategies!  Forget it and be the industrious person you know you are! (Or maybe not.) Besides, speaking or thinking of family members negatively is unacceptable and inexcusable.

Remember when we do this work that it is never, repeat never about blaming or judging others or ourselves.  It is all about tending to how our bodies and minds continue to react and respond to those life experiences, typically without realizing the connection because it has become so routine or automatic.

Now back to Sandra and “Is It Really Important”.  Self-awareness can be our very best friend.  Sandra’s conflict? She was consciously telling herself she was capable, but sub-consciously holding the belief she was lazy.  This generated  enough anxiety that her level of self-awareness was clouded.  Her automatic use of the word had become so second nature, she didn’t even realize she was saying it. And even when she wasn’t saying it, there is little doubt the belief was running the show.  Once she let it go, she embraced a zest for life and enjoyed a much higher level of self-esteem and self-confidence. 

Her situation is not uncommon. Consider the possibility that word(s) you dismiss keep presenting themselves for a reason. Maybe it is that wiser part of you offering you the clues you need to overcome a limiting belief or habit you can’t seem to change. 

Here are a few suggestions for an approach.

First going after the idea that it is not that important and can’t change.

At the Side of the Hand or Sore Spot, repeating the phrase three times:

Set-up:

         Even though I am convinced it is not that important, I choose to be open to      the possibility that I could enjoy life more.

Sequence:

TH: It’s not that important

  EB: I don’t have the time

OE: It’s not a big deal

UE: I’ve lived with it this long

UN: So why try and change now?

CH: It’s not that important

CB: I am fine the way I am

UA: It’s just not that important

TH: It’s not that important

EB: I’ve learned to deal with it

OE: It doesn’t bother me that much!

UE: Yet a part of me wonders

  UN: What would it be like?

CH: Forget it,

CB: It’s not that important

  UA: But maybe I am!

At the Side of the Hand or Sore Spot, repeating the phrase three times:

Set-up:

         Even though I can’t imagine being free of this, I choose to trust the wiser    part of me knows I can!

Sequence:

  TH: It’s no use

EB: Not worth the effort

OE: I’m stuck with this

UE: Might as well accept it

UN: It’s just who I am

    CH: Or maybe it’s not!

CB: Maybe a happier me

UA: Is anxious to emerge!

   TH: You have got to be kidding,

EB: Like that’s going to happen!

OE: It’s been with me too long.

UE: I’ve learned to live it.

  UN: Why try and change it now?

  CH: It’s too hard

CB: Can’t run the risk of another disappointment

  UA: Or maybe I could be pleasantly surprised!

If you are saying to yourself: “That’s all well and good, but I am still clueless as to where or how this started!”  Consider tapping through this:

 At the Side of the Hand or Sore Spot, repeating the phrase three times:

Set-up:

         Even though I am clueless about the origin of this, I am thanking the wiser        part of me for offering the answers now. I choose to be open to receiving       them now!

Sequence:

TH: Clueless,

EB: I really don’t know,

OE: And maybe I don’t want to!

  UE: But I choose to be open to the possibility,

UN: that the wiser part of me will deliver,

   CH: exactly what I need for clarity and direction

CB: easily understood

   UA: offering hope and enthusiasm

TH: Clueless,

   EB:  Or maybe I am not

OE: Maybe that wiser part of me

     UE: Has been at the ready all the time!

UN: I am thanking it now

CH: Open to receiving

CB: The brilliant information

  UA: That’s has been within me all along!

Follow the trails, no longer stuffing or ignoring random negative words or limiting beliefs. Trust what comes to mind and tap on whatever it is as it shows up. OR jot it down to tap on at the first opportunity. 

Choose to see yourself now as pleasantly surprised with how easily and effortlessly you can make a change. Let go of the idea that it’s not important, or doesn’t deserve your time or effort.

And perhaps say to yourself:  “Maybe I am worth it!” or better yet: “It’s not that important, but maybe I am!”  If you have difficulty with these phrases, it is time to start tapping.

Maybe whatever “It” is isn’t that important, but always know you are.

Wishing you success in all your endeavors,  


Sophia


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Important note: All information on this website is for educational purposes only. In no way is anything here intended to suggest that it is a substitute for proper medical care or good common sense. While EFT has produced remarkable clinical results, it must still be considered to be in the experimental stage and thus practitioners and the public must take complete responsibility for their use of it. Further, Sophia Cayer is not a licensed health professional and offers EFT as an ordained minister and as a personal performance coach in the following areas of specialty: A few areas of specialty:  post traumatic stress, social phobias, abuse, anxieties and fears, procrastination, career challenges, physical issues, focus, public speaking, self-esteem, self-worth, accomplishing goals, relationships. I do not claim to diagnose or treat any illness.

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